When ducks and octopus meet...

Colin continues to get more dexterous all the time. Currently he has been attempting to introduce the newcomer duck to the octopus on his play gym. Things are a little rocky in the relationship, but I have hope that they will learn to get along. Colin is more impatient for this to work but was giving it a good shot today. He is also becoming more camera savvy as you will see, and is figuring out where to look to get his best angles. Maybe I should look into newscasting...? Anyway, love this boy!

Laughing with Mummy

So I finally remembered to have the camera nearby when Colin was in his happy talky mood. (Which is often to be fair.) I love this boy a lot! :)

Fearful and Wonderful

One of the things about having kids? Boy do things in the media regarding children really hit you between the eyes. Of course there are all the appeals to give £2 to this cause in Africa and £3 pounds to the other cause in India and so on. And yes, I am sympathetic but I can't help but see the massive hypocrisy in such appeals. And the UK and the US are the biggest hypocrites of them all. Why do the lives of those children matter so much more to our cultures than our own children? Why do their big eyes and swollen tummies affect us? Why, when they're fed well and they smile at us from the television in gratitude, do we feel a surge of self righteous satisfaction? We did some good after all and saved them from starving.
But why? If they had been in the womb at the time of the appeal, we wouldn't have bothered sending help. Likely our governments would instead continue educating Africa, and India and numerous other cultures around the world about the benefits of aborting these children in the first place. Then they wouldn't starve and other people could have food so it's a win/win right?
I watched a documentary today about saving lemurs in Madagascar. I'm all for conservation, don't get me wrong. But I was again struck by our hypocrisy. I listened as this scientist, who has dedicated his life to this research, strove to protect a very endangered band of lemurs, and in particular he wanted to protect a mother and her unborn child. He got rather emotional about it and was so pleased that this mum was pregnant since it meant hope for the species. And I thought to myself, 'why do we go to great lengths to save that baby?' That guy was potentially risking his life in an unstable part of Africa. Why is that lauded and praised, but when Christians bring up the murder of unborn human children in an effort to protect them, we are ridiculed and accused of oppressing women? Why do other CHRISTIANS get embarrassed for us and squirm if we talk about this hideous wrong too openly? If there is a time for righteous anger, this is the time.
Living here in the UK, I am not only deeply grieved, I will admit I am rather furious with Christians who have long ago given up the fight against abortion. It is not an issue in politics at all. No one running for office here, would worry about using it as a platform. The church doesn't teach on it. Or, if various lone vicars do, they are slapped with lawsuits, or, at the very least, with the cold disapproval of their very virtuous middle class congregations. One shouldn't discuss such unpleasant topics after all. Another cup of tea please. 
At least it is still an issue in the public forum in the US. But we are just as guilty if not more so, of blood. Please don't think I hold our country as more righteous than the UK. And if nothing changes, Christians in our country will become just as lethargic about abortion as they are here.
I have a son. He has ten small toes. He has ten fingers that wrap around one of mine or Mark's. He's had those since he was 9 weeks old in the womb. He is learning to laugh now and he smiles such a big smile that it fills half his face. He gives me that smile when I come into his room in the morning and when I get him up from naps. He cuddles with us and sleeps on Mark's chest. His eyelashes are long and stand out on his cheeks when his eyes are closed. He kicks with his feet in the bath so that he can smile at the splash. He is learning something every day. I love watching him. And he loves watching me. And I think to myself, 'how, HOW can we live with ourselves, knowing that millions and millions of children never got to kick their bath water?' They will never wrap their hands around someone's finger. They can't smile at faces. They had all the ability to do so by 20 weeks in the womb. But they were not given that opportunity. They were murdered before any of us could witness it.
I could weep thinking about this. I have to remember that God is a Father. That He has those babies with Himself. But He will also judge us, us Christians, for standing by as the helpless were killed. I pray that future generations will study this as the greatest and most awful genocide the world has ever known. I pray that my son's generation will witness the end to this. One way or another it will end. But God is not mocked and He will deal with this sin. And the church will be the first to have to answer Him for it.
"I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well." Psalm139:14

Coordination challenges

Somebody's growing. He's 2 feet long according to the doctor and 12.5 pounds!! But he's been showing us growth in other ways too. He talks to us and his animals, he loves to feel things with his hands, he is trying to take the bottle from me already and boy does he love kicking his legs. I took this video of him playing on his gym. And while I write this, he's lying beside me patting my arm. Could I love that more? :)

It's spring and Easter is coming...

Just a few things that I've done as warmer weather approaches and daffodils bloom.

Being fruitful and multiplying...while single!

Do I have your attention with that title? Sounds a bit scandalous I admit. But give me a chance to explain. :) In the way that one's brain does, mine was meandering around this morning in the thought department, happily thinking of this and that and for some reason, I started pondering some former students who have become teachers. I'm very proud of all my students in the different professions and studies they are doing. But in the way that parents are deeply pleased when their son or daughter shares their interests and possibly, profession--you know the 'Smith and Sons' sort of pride--I have to admit I deeply love seeing which of my students are teaching and where they are hired. It's lovely to see the second generation of classically educated kids hitting the classrooms once more to build further upon our foundations. 
Are you with me so far? My brain then pondered the way God had placed me in the lives of so many students (I hope for good!!) and the rather scary responsibility I had in affecting their lives through education and also in the way I lived before them. And now that I have my own child, this responsibility has increased 100 fold! It is a great and awesome thing to raise a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And THIS thought led me to one that I had many times before getting married: God calls us to be fruitful and multiply, but how do I, as a single woman, achieve such a thing? How do I feel that I am growing the church, when I have no husband or children? It was often a rather depressing thought. I definitely struggled with singleness in my later twenties as a  Christian, watching others lead fulfilled lives with husbands and children. It was so clear cut: they were fulfilling Scripture and I wasn't. Right? I felt like a second class citizen in the church--not really doing what I felt God had for most of us women and yet knowing I couldn't do anything about it. (Unless I became a mail order bride, but that didn't really appeal. :)) Now those of you more mature than I are thinking to yourselves "Carolyn, of course you couldn't do anything since God has it in control. You needed to have faith that He had your story written the best way." You're so right. But that advice can be hard to heed in the midst of struggle (especially from all the well meaning, but married people) and I had some lessons to learn on contentment and faith. And eventually, God gave me the gift of realizing how I could be fruitful and single at the same time.

I was impacting students every day, sometimes successfully, and sometimes not. There were days I had to seek forgiveness from my students. There were days where I was so proud of various students I was moved to tears. There were days that I was so frustrated with some of them I wanted to put a hole in the wall (or desk, or picture, or whatever object was handy). I had days of scintillating conversations surrounding history and literature and I knew my students were all brilliant.

I had days where I wondered if anyone was awake and whether I had the remotest idea of what I was doing. Teaching really is the 'best of times and the worst of times'.
 Lying in bed at night, I would worry about some kids and choices they were making and how I could help them. I enjoyed celebratory hugs over various achievements.

 I prayed with kids whose lives were falling apart. I ate lunch with them. I played with them. I talked with them, argued with them, and saw them almost every day. I tried to keep them accountable in the Lord and I asked for the same from them. I was convicted by them, and humbled by them. In short, I was feeling and experiencing many of the things that a parent would.

I hope this doesn't sound arrogant. I am not claiming that I was on par with their parents. But I was working 'in loco parentis' and supporting them in raising these kids. And if that isn't being fruitful and multiplying, I don't know what is.

Am I saying that all single women should become teachers? No. But they can be fruitful in their churches and communities in the way that they impact the lives of co-workers, friends, other people's kids and more. If you are living faithfully in Christ, seeking ways to serve Him and those He puts in your way, you are fruitful. You may even be multiplying whether you know it or not. You could impact someone who later turns to Christ due to contact with you.
Singleness can be a real challenge; I know. But never believe that you aren't able to be a fruitful member of God's church. (And if I may say, being a teacher is the best profession! :))